Thursday, August 2, 2012

Missing Out on the Olympics: An Athlete's Dream Shot to Pieces


    With the Olympics going on, I can't help but regret not pursuing my dreams and possible career in swimming or especially badminton.  Why didn't my parents push me harder to overcome my fear of loud noises and dive into that pool?  Why didn't they install a badminton court in our backyard, so I could practice daily?  Why didn't they choose my genetics, so that I wouldn't be 5'4" and instead 7' tall?  I guess some of us just didn't have the means to pursue our dreams, Olympic ones at that.  Just think, had I gone after these dreams, I would presently be retired.  I already consider myself retired after going to school for 6 years and working only 3 months to be moved to a D.C. vacation spot where I no longer work but instead, lay by the pool and read.  However, PDub and I would have been better off with an Olympic retirement.
Uniform made in Virginia...not China
    Today, I wonder what events I could participate in with what I practice daily.  Although they aren't necessarily Olympic events, I feel that I would do pretty well in ironing shirts, vacuuming apartments, and handstands.  Just like a real Olympian, these are all activities that I practice daily.  After informing PDub and Doubles Shark-Whisperer of this, they both gave me difference reactions.  PDub found it quite sad that those would be the events I would compete in and thought that I probably shouldn't admit that I perform these tasks daily.  Doubles Shark-Whisperer, on the other hand, told me that I probably wouldn't have a chance against the 5-star hotel maids or the dry cleaners.  I'm not sure that I would receive a medal or even qualify for the finals, but at least, I would be able to go to the Olympics and star in some pretty awesome commercials for starch and cleaning products.
    While the summer Olympics are being aired, PDub and I have been breaking our "early to bed" habit, and we have been staying up late just to watch an event in which we already know the outcome. It's quite sad to go on a news webpage or even on Facebook to find a spoiler.  Was it necessary to announce that our women's gymnastics won right after they did?  I would have at least liked to have seen it.  It's like telling me that Batman dies at the end of "The Dark Knight Rises" before I ever get to see it....rude!  Anyway, I guess our media has to report on the news immediately, or it wouldn't be new-s.  Sadly, after viewing these events, I can't help but want to step on a sand volleyball court or swing on anything that appears to be uneven bars.
    Someday I might go to the Olympics.  The oldest Olympian to ever compete was 72 at the 1920 games.  He was a shooter, so maybe if I get over my fear of loud noises, I could go shoot some things too.  You never know....I've got time, but first I need to go iron some shirts....
Escalator surfing...a true sport!